The Code of the West

Well partners; Cowboy up! Get along little doggies! And happy trails to me! The Wyoming State Legislature is going to vote on adopting the Cowboy Code in government.

Yeehaw! (Six shooter noise in the background).

I don’t even care that it’s the finest example of grandstanding since the” Contract with America” or that the Ten Commandments didn’t quite cut it. I want cowboy stuff.

At least in Wyoming my heroes are going to be recognized for more than shooting Indians off of horses and farting around the campfire.

According to Zane Grey in his 1934 novel, “The Code of the West,” these rules were never written down, that is, until James Owen, a rugged man of the plains (a Wall Street investor) wrote them all down in 2004. Better 150 years late than never.

Personally, I like the old unwritten rules like: Never get confused and draw your pocket pistol or never drink with your horse because he’s the only one that knows the way home or always saddle up and visit town when the cows start looking good.

But here is one thing about this bill that makes me pricklier than a porcupine with high blood pressure -- The disclaimer: “This bill is symbolic and carries no criminal penalties.”

Dagnabbit! Leave it up to those double-dealing, bush-whacking politicians to come up with a loophole. How can you have a code with no penalties for breaking the code?

If you broke the code in the Old West they’d say,” You broke the code,” and shoot you in the belly button or at least revoke your membership in the Shoot Holes in the Roof Saloon. It makes no sense. It’s like John Ford directing “Broke Back Mountain,” or the Marlboro Man chewing Skoal. There’s a skunk in the bunk house.  

At least pull their privileged parking or make them go to bed without eating their grub.

Ultimately, it’s all about a group of grown men and women wanting to play cowboys and cowgirls and try to live in the spirit of the frontier.  

Their legislature may be as bloated and corrupt as ours but a tip-of-the-hat to them for at least being entertaining. Who knows, maybe trying to live by some of the rules will make them less horse thieves and more like Roy Rogers.  
So, as I ride into the setting sun and until next time -- remember to keep a smile on your face and toilet paper in your saddlebags.

Tank “Tex” Baird